Do not weep

Tomorrow, December 5th—my parents’ wedding anniversary. A year and a half since mom’s death.  Today I remembered also a former student by the name of Jennifer Baxley, who died suddenly of multiple embolisms several days before I received news of my mom’s declining health.

Grief is a strange path with many lessons, most of which I have yet to learn.

For some reason I thought of a line from the Byzantine Nocturns of Pascha, the one my friend Keith used to call “the no-dry-eye” irmos because it always brought tears to his eyes (and, he claims, others too). Wrong liturgical season, I know, but here it is:

Do not weep for me, Mother, as you see in a tomb
the Son whom you conceived in your womb without seed;
for I shall arise and be glorified,
and I shall exalt in glory without ceasing
those who with faith and love magnify you.

On an annual basis I feel pushed by the Nativity Fast into a kind of eschatological anticipation. It is this aspect that I’ve always found to be the most beautiful, the most thrilling, about the whole thing.

Creation once again awaits.

The One who has come will come again.

And maybe this is hope: to know that grief, whatever lessons it bears in its arms, will not have the last word, for it too will have to make way for the return of the King.

“The Lord Whom the seraphs fear to look at”

My favorite hymn from the liturgy is this metrical homily attributed to St. Jacob of Sarug. At St. Mary’s we sing it (in Malayalam) during the distribution of the Gifts. What do you think?

The Lord Whom the seraphs fear to look at,
the same you behold in bread and wine on the altar.
The lightning-clothed hosts are burned if they see Him in His brilliance,
yet the contemptible dust partakes of Him with confidence.

The Son’s Mysteries are fire among the heavenly beings.
Isaiah bears witness with us to have seen them.
These Mysteries which were in the Divinity’s bosom
are distributed to Adam’s children on the altar.

The altar is fashioned like the cherubim’s chariot
and is surrounded by the heavenly hosts.
On the altar is laid the Body of God’s Son
and Adam’s children carry it solemnly on their hands.

Instead of a man clad in linen, stands the [priest],
and distributes alms [the Eucharist] among the needy.
If envy existed among the angels,
the cherubim would have envied men.

Where Zion set up the Cross to crucify the Son,
there grew up the tree that gave birth to the Lamb.
Where nails were driven in the Son’s hands,
there Isaac’s hands were bound for an offering.

Welcome, priest, who carries the Mysteries of his Lord,
and with his right hand distributes life to men.
Welcome, priest, who carries a pure censer,
and with its fragrance makes the world sweet and pleasant.

Welcome, priest, whom the Holy Spirit did raise up,
and on his tongue bears the keys to the house of God.
Welcome, priest, who binds man in the depth below,
and the Lord binds him in heaven on high. Hallelujah.

Welcome, priest, who unbinds men on earth,
and the Lord unbinds him in the highest. Kyrie eleison.
Praise be to the Lord! His mercy upon you and absolution for me,
and good commemoration to Mor Jacob the Malphono [James the Great Teacher].

“Like a strong man who shakes off his wine”

When the Hero slept on the cross and trampled on death, after three days His sleep departed and He rose strengthened; while He rested for three days His burden was lightened and He was awakened after His labour without corruption from His wounds.

David His father saw Him when He came forth and ran before Him and touched the strings of his lyre and began to sing in prophecy: The Lord has awakened like a strong man who shakes off his wine and has struck His enemies and delivered His friends who were mourning.

The Bo’ootho of St. Jacob, taken from Saphro (Morning Prayer) of the Sunday of the Resurrection

For Holy Saturday

Yesterday was Friday full of sorrow and darkness, today is the Sabbath of hope and joy.

Yesterday the crucifiers raged like madmen, today the dead in Sheol sing praise.

Yesterday, Friday, the jeering crowd mobbed the city, today, Saturday, the Giver of life to the dead descends to Sheol and lays waste its walls and spoils its treasures.

Today Sheol is resplendent with praises and as in the month of April the dead shoot up like flowers, rejoicing in their tombs.

Today the house of the dead becomes gloomy when they see that Death is bound and Adam is released who was bound captive.

Today Sheol, the place of those who died, is cast down because it knows that its captives have returned to their former place.

Today those who lay in the dust shout praise from their mouths because their Redeemer has descended to them.

Today all those who slept cry out with one accord, “Blessed is the glory of the Lord from His place forever!”

From the Office of the Twelfth Hour for Holy Saturday

For the Wednesday of Conspiracies

Today our Lord reveals to the Twelve the secret mystery:
“One of you will betray Me and take a price for Me.”

Today the wolf goes forth from the fold of the sheep
to mingle with the company of treacherous people.

Today in his treachery Judas parts from his companions
and conspires perfidiously against the True Shepherd.

Today the Good One offers Himself to the Passion and to Death
for the sake of the guilty Adam who fell in the Garden of Eden.

Today the chief priest prophesies concerning the Lord,
“It is in our interest that one man die so that the nation may live.”

Today our Lord tells His disciples, “Do not grieve.
I rise. I resurrect that you  may live.”

From Saphro (Morning Prayer) for Wednesday of the Week of the Life-giving Passion (Wednesday of Conspiracies)